Are You My Sponge?

Welcome to the Spongerdome

Dear Ask a Clean Person,

Please help my husband and I find the solution to our kitchen sponge woes! 

Recently, I’ve been wanting to find a sustainable, non-stinky alternative to the traditional green and yellow kitchen sponge. I generally prefer a kitchen rag—in particular, a Swedish sponge cloth—which are more eco friendly, and I toss them in the wash when they’re getting nasty.

My husband, who also does most of the dishes, far prefers a traditional sponge that he can grip. Up until now, I’ve relented and just toss the dreaded sponge in the dishwasher when it’s getting overly gnarly. But even then, you have to toss them once a month or so, and I hate the idea of these petroleum products rotting in a landfill until the end of time.

Is there another alternative that meets both our needs? Gives him something to grip and won’t outlive us all? Something non-stinky would be a bonus! We also don’t love kitchen brushes or Scrub Daddies, for what it’s worth.

Can’t wait to hear of any alternatives you might suggest!

For years now, I've had a Holy Grail story that I cannot convince any editor to publish. This fantasy article is called "Are You My Sponge?" and it is a Choose Your Own Adventure-type interactive media jam that features every type of sponge under the sun, from scrub sponges to car washing sponges and all the sponges in between. The idea is to write a blurb describing each sponge, what jobs it's best for, what not to use it on, etc etc etc, and then code it up with a search function so that a reader can either review all the sponges and enjoy some light learning OR they can plug in, like, "a sponge for washing Granny's china" and up pops the Scotch-Brite Gentle Clean Scrub Sponge (them's the pink ones).

I think this idea is absolutely genius but no one else does and I'm tired of advocating for it, although I will admit that I was recently offered a job that was entirely wrong for me but that would have probably allowed me to finally compose "Are You My Sponge?" and I thought long and hard about taking that job just so I could finally compose "Are You My Sponge?" (Then I came to my senses and turned down the job.)

ANYway. I tell you that to tell you this: I spend a lot of time thinking about sponges and I do not have a great answer for you, here. I'm so sorry about that! But I do promise that I'm working on it. It's just that the vexing matter of the sponges is one that's not so easily solved. It's up there for me with the matter of oven cleaner, which is one of those things that makes me crazy as a cleaning expert and as a human (debatable) because every option is bad in some way, and I'm beyond annoyed that in 2024 we don't have better choices! Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that here in 2024 we do not have a perfect sponge option, just as we don't have a perfect oven cleaner option. 

What I can do, however, are these things I’m doing:

• I resurfaced a “best sponge” guide I started working on in 2021 to a new editor I'm working with — I’ll be able to give you a better answer to this question if that gets approved so stay tuned! I feel like I could get really weird with some sponges.

• I'm going to start badgering my Sponge People the way I badgered my Detergent People because I did manage to move the needle on some Detergenting Issues, though fair warning: It took me nearly a decade of badgering those poor Detergent People to move that needle! It's annoying that slow and steady wins the race is so true, isn't it? I don't have as deep a well of contacts in the sponge space as I do in the detergent space, but that's pretty fixable and I'm at a point in my career where I have, like, actual influence? I might as well use it for good! 

• I created a rinky dink version of “Are You My Sponge” for you guys that details the big players in the sponge arena, their pros, their cons, their hopes, fears, dreams, etc. 

• I’m asking you to sing to me of your sponges! What sponge do you love? What sponge do you hate? What sponge has surprised you with his performance in spite of his mediocre presentation? Let’s play sponge Tinder, basically.

Okay so with that said, here is a totally non-comprehensive rundown of our sponge options — what have I missed? Sing to us of your beloved sponges in the comments section and let's see what we can do for the sponge-challenged among us.

Scotch-Brite etc

Scotch-Brite sponges, the green-and-yellow (or blue-and-light blue, or pink-and-light pink, depending on the relative scrubbiness of the scrubby side) two-sided dealies that are probably what most of us think of when we think of sponges. These are my go-tos! I'm pretty brand-loyal to Scotch-Brite, mostly because every time I deviate and try, oh, a Casabella or an O-Cedar Scrunge I'm like, "Yeah no these just aren't as good!"

The problem with these is that, regardless of the brand name, the scrubby side, in particular, simply doesn't hold up very long. So sure, you can stick them in the dishwasher or microwave them or boil them or whatever to clean them, but once that scrubby side is shot then, yep, into the trash they must go. Ho-hum.

Dobie Pads

Now I know you know that I love a Dobie Pad. An absolutely fantastic sponge! I tend to use them more for household cleaning than for dishes, though I don't know that I can tell you why that's so. I'll ponder it!

The problem with the Dobie is that, yep, they wear out eventually. But you may find them more durable than the Scotch-Brites etc. and they can def go in the dishwasher to keep 'em clean. God I love a Dobie.

Scrub Daddy

I have mixed feelings about the Scrub Daddy (and his bride, the Scrub Mommy)! To me, they're great for household and outdoor cleaning jobs but I do not love them for dish-doing. I'll also say that they don't feel that great in my hand. 

HOWEVER. I will say that the Scrub Parents are great for heavy duty dish-doing — I definitely recommend them for jobs like scouring years of buildup off of baking dishes and Dutch ovens, and I find I use The Dreaded Grill Pan more often now because the Scrub Daddy makes cleaning its infernal ribs pretty easy. (The fucking grill pan is one of my worst purchases, you guys, and one day I'll talk to you about it but right now I am not spiritually or emotionally ready for that. Also, I'd like to acknowledge that I'm aware I started a riot in the comments section regarding garbage disposals and you guys are right and wrong about them but I just cannot bring myself to deal with that right now. One day we'll do the Assorted Regulations Regarding Disposals, but today is not that day. This is my birthday week so you can't say anything about it!)

But back to sponges! Here's a more formal review of Mater and Pater Scrub that I did for Underscored, if you're into that sort of thing:

Scrub Daddy vs. Scrub Mommy: I tested both viral sponges to see which is worth buying, 25 July 2024 | CNN Underscored 

Swedish Dishcloths

People love Swedish dishcloths but I stand with LW's husband in hating them. I agree that their flat, oversized rectangular shape isn't as comfortable in my hand as a traditional sponge, I loathe the way the material feels, and I also found myself totally grossed out by them. I dislike the fact that they don't drape, so hanging them over a faucet to dry doesn't work, and that they don't fit nicely into standard size sponge holders. Basically: Fuck Swedish dishcloths. God it feels so good to say that.

But really, if you love them I love that for you! If you haven't tried them yet, maybe give them a whirl and see what you think — after all, what I think doesn't have to be what you think. They're just sponges, ya know?

Silicone Sponges

These are new-ish and their big selling point is their durability and ease-of-cleaning (stick them in the top rack of the dishwasher and they're good as new). But I've also heard a lot of people say that they're terrible and the one time I used one I was like, "Wow yeah that's a hard no."

Now, that was when I lived a dishwasher-less existence, so maybe I'll feel differently if/when I'm able to easily wash them (which feels like a problem in and of itself) but my vague recollection was that the silicone sponge got gross, fast, and gave me the ick.

Spaghetti Sponges

This horrible-looking thing came up during the 2021 sponge testing assignment that was abandoned — apparently in a previous job, the editor who assigned (and then abandoned lol) my sponge testing, encountered this vile thing and thought it would be good to have me test it too.

Mercifully, I was spared from having to touch this monstrous thing but it still haunts me, apparently. Have any of you tried them??

The Dotti Sponge

Dotti sent me a sample of their scrub sponge and it did nothing for me, I’m sorry to report. The size and shape and texture were all wrong. Cute though!

The Dotti Broom, otoh, is a revelation. It’s like sweeping with a Cadillac.

Microfiber Sponges

Ohhhh I love a microfiber sponge moment!!! You're not going to use these for dishes, but I'm wild for these for leaving on a bathroom kitchen ledge to quickly wipe up water on a vanity, or to clean the sink basin to keep it free of toothpaste spittle and whiskers and sprinklings of Benefit Hoola Bronzer.

My one gripe is that I'd prefer it if they came in a more neutral colorway because, while I love color (atm my hair is pink, my nails are green chrome, and my tan is off the charts) I don't necessarily want a neon yellow sponge living on my bathroom counter.

Chainmail Scrubbers

I have made the same "bring a bit of medieval flair to doing the dishes!" joke in about 700 publications so why not go ahead and make it here: I love-love-love these chainmail scrubbers that are very specifically for use on cast iron cookware and should pretty much not be used for anything else even though I've never actually tried them. I just really love Ren Faires :) 

Okay quick Ren Faire-adjacent sidebar: I've been bereft for the past few years because Philippa Gregory has fallen off her game and the last three or so of her books have been the pits. And listen, in the summer I NEED a dishy bit of historical fiction or my humors are all off, so this has been a real problem for ole Joles! So I'm happy to report that The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo scratched that PG itch of mine and now I'm recommending it to you, in the event one of you (and let's be honest that it's probably pretty close to all of you) also needs a good romance set during the Spanish Inquisition. Let's huddle up in September to discuss, yes? 

Car Washing Sponges

Do you know that one of my all time favorite cleaning jobs is washing (and detailing) a car?!? My best friend Matt is a Car Guy (and a lot of his late father's car washing tips are featured in My Boyfriend Barfed …) and now that we live 7 minutes away from each other, we do a lot of car detailing. Last year for my birthday we detailed a car his neighbor inherited, if you're curious if my birthday celebrations are as on brand as you'd expect!

ANYway. Car washing sponges are giant oversized super sudsy sponges (the material is akin to the Scrub Mommy's ResoFoam side) and we actually don't use them that much anymore when we wash cars because I got myself on the car care products beat and Matt now has, like, every car detailing product you can imagine including …………. a foam cannon!!! We've had a lot of fun with the foam cannon, as you might imagine. These are foam cannons and I bet at least one of you is like, "I don't need that but I need that." Go with Goddess, treat yourself, it's Leo SZN, etc. They're tons of fun to use!

But! Car sponges deserve a place here, not just because I love car detailing projects but also because they are excellent for other outdoor cleaning jobs, like patio furniture, railings, grills, etc. They’re also perfect for cleaning things like outdoor toys and play sets, bikes, kayaks, canoes … for, you know, when you need to clean your canoe.

The Today Sponge 

lol just checking to see if you're still paying attention :)