Against Marble, Some New Scrubbing Bubbles, Plus: Whimsy!

It's grab bag day here at AaCP: The Newsletter

Odds and ends, ends and odds! We'll get right into it — I've got some recent stories to share, there's been some real good nerdery afoot so if you're a person who likes the science of it all, or who wants to dig into a particularly voicey cleaning article, or just likes it when I rant about marble, it's your lucky day. And then! There were some followup questions to answer re Scrubbing Bubbles after our review of bathroom cleaning policies and procedures, and then we're going to close the thing out with some whimsy, because we sure do need a touch of that right now! Onward.

Some Recent Works!

The Washington Post is keeping me busy and I am so thrilled, but also I'm sorry to neglect Ask a Clean Person: The Newsletter. I made fun 2025 plans for this ole gal and then naturally, Hestia laughed. But! The fun has just been mostly happening over at WaPo and I encourage you to go have a look. I don't have an author page so lol enjoy a janky one I created just for you ORRRR you could click on one of these links to the stories I'm especially proud of!

We love marble. But marble will never love us back.

Can this TikTok hack really unshrink your clothes? Yes. But also no.

The dirty truth: There is no good way to clean your oven

Come for Josh Flagg being bitchy about marble …

… and stay for Josh Flagg being bitchy about marble!

I also want to point you to two cleaning agent explainers I wrote for BHG: What Is Ammonia? and What Is Oxygen Bleach? God, I love an explainer🖤And finally, I'd like to note that my article How Often Do You Really Need to Wash Bathrobes? allowed me to commit the words "special occasion robes" to print. A professional high point if ever there were one!

Some Notes on Scrubbing Bubbles!

There were some Qs about the Bubs, here are some As!

What specific Scrubbing Bubbles are you talking about?

These guys. The Bubs in the can. The flavor doesn't matter, but it has to be the stuff in the can (it's a coverage issue, the trigger spray just doesn't cut it).

What is this new Easy Clean stuff?

Okay truthfully this was one of mine: I hadn't seen this new Easy Clean stuff before I went to get the links to the Bubs in the can, but I knew Scrubbing Bubbles was sending me something and yep, the new Easy Clean stuff is what they sent me! I tried it out, but not in any sort of formal testing-ish way, and it seems like a less heavy-duty version of the OG? I'll stick with the OG but if you want to try the new stuff out to see if you like it better (it has a lovely scent!) I wouldn't discourage you.

Do I need to scrub away the Bubs with a microfiber cloth or can I just rinse it off?

I gave this one a whirl, as promised, and I'm sorry to report that, yep, you gotta stick with the cloth and the wiping. Bah! Spraying simply doesn't have the necessary reach or the scrubbing power of mechanical action+the grabby microfibers, and things won't get as clean.

I live in South Africa, we don't have Scrubbing Bubbles. Can you recommend something else?

I sure can and I can also share a trick for finding non-American versions of American products. The generic name for Scrubbing Bubbles is "foaming bathroom cleaner" — once you know the generic name of a product (e.g. OxiClean = oxygen bleach) you can search for those products in your local market. In this case, I found something called M7 Multi-Purpose Foam Cleaners. (I also found something called Handy Andy Cream and I'm howling because I'm me.)

Sir!

The other thing you can do is try the Amazon trick — it doesn't always work, and in the case of Scrubbing Bubbles it didn't but it's handy (Andy) to know about anyway: Go to your local Amazon, in this case Amazon.co.za, and plug the US product name into the search bar. Not always but often, it will give you local versions; for example, putting "OxiClean" into Amazon.co.za's search gives us Mr. Sheen Oxi Wash.

Gosh, imagine a night out with Mr. Sheen and Handy Andy … the mind reels.

Some Whimsy!

A few weeks ago, a friend sent me a roundup of answers to the question, "Girlies, what are some things you do to be more whimsical?" The whole thing was a delight — there was one that was like, "I do dishes by candlelight to play medieval tavern wench," that took me out — and I thought, "Oh man, the Amy Army will eat these up, and I think we all need a little whimsy in our lives." (Also I listen to tavern wench music when I read my historical fictions, which I highly recommend!)

So listen, things are grim and I know that people are stressed and depressed and feeling very panicked. There's not much any of us can do, realistically, to move the needle on stock market manipulation (ALLEGEDLY) or about the fact that eggs cost as much as gold bullion. This is just the time we're living through! But there is one small thing we can do, here in this space, that's inspired by a conversation I had with a friend about how this moment calls for community, and that sometimes hokey, corny, wholesome exercises are the best way to build community ties.

So! Please tell us how you would answer the question, "Girlies, what are some things you do to be more whimsical?" Bonus points if they involve cleaning or other household chores!

You guys already know, and many of you use, my terms of cleaning whimsy. There's handsies and kneesies, of course, and our old pal Bleachie. My most famous works. But there's also "HANG IT BY THE TIPPER!" which I forgot about until one of you mentioned it recently, so I'm sure there are 70,000 other insane things I've said that you will remind me of. But I want to hear yours! I'm sure the Amy Army does too! Bring unto us your whimsy.

I've been thinking about examples of Jolish Whimsy that you might not have heard of, and in terms of cleaning stuff I came up kind of short. I do use some lil designations when scheduling my weekly chores: QC, DC, WD. Those stand for, in order: Quick Clean; Deep Clean; Wipe Down. I mostly use them as a reminder that the backsplash needs my attention, or that the birds who flock to my patio because I'm a rococo gardener and it's like Eden out there have left droppings that need to be wiped away. The designations work for me in the same way that I think rebranding "chores" as a "reset" does — it's an easy way to reframe things that are always on my to-do list by building the effort level into the task. "Clean the patio" sounds like a drag, but "Patio WD" is something my brain is like, "Oh I can go bang that out right now, let me do that and tick it off my to-dos."

So those were my cleaning-related Terms of Whimsy but there's another one I use that has nothing to do with cleaning and everything to do with my feet, and my vanity, and it is this: I suffer from horrible cracked heels and the solution to this problem is diligence in applying balms and such, and then slogging about in a pair of thick socks. Fine, no biggie, right? WRONG. You guys, I hate socks so much. I just hate wearing a sock! The socks, they make me feel so claustrophobic and I absolutely cannot stand confining my tiny hooves in those horrible fabric prisons!! But I need the socks in order to not have the shameful heels, so I rebranded the wearing of the socks with the lotions and balms and once a week I have what's called … I cannot actually believe I'm telling you this, it is genuinely so embarrassing but corny and hokey are the words of the day, so …

MOISTURE POWER HOUR

Yes, friends, once a week there is an entry on my to-do list called MOISTURE POWER HOUR and in order to tick-tick-tick it off that to-do list I must apply the creams and don the socks and sit for at least one hour — the power hour, nay, the MOISTURE POWER HOUR! — to let my heels recover from decades of preppy sandal abuse.

I'm happy to report that my heels have never looked better and I'm utterly dismayed to tell you that calling it MOISTURE POWER HOUR has truly been the thing that's gotten me to be consistent with my foot care.

I hate it so much.